Everyday seems like struggle where I can't take these things anymore. I act like things make me happy and that I have much more to think about than how bad things suck for me here but i've got someone who is the first person who's caught my interest in over a year who i'd have potential with but can't b/c im stuck up here in dc and everyone knows that long distance relationships don't work and not only that he's moving from nc to indiana so theres literally no hope... i try not to cry and mope about my life because in reality and in the grand scheme of things... its not that bad.. but its emotionally straining... i'm starting to have anxiety over pointless stuff and its just all stupid... im so confused... i kinda just want to move out and live on my own and see where that gets me but i know that it won't be possible... but most days thats truly the only thing that would help me... and i kno probably no one will read this but its just a matter of getting it out and having no where to turn but this stupid little screen... its not even like my acount i active... but at this point i dont care... i feel like in general i'm making distructive decisions but i don't want to change... i want to have fun in life and if that means ruining my chances at some things... well than let it... because i'm not going to stop doing a few things just so that i can have a better future... I'm fine working at a resturant all of my life... i dont care... i just wish that my life was easier and i was on my own... newho.. ima go now cause i kno no one will read this... peace out